Oh my gosh!
In -3 degree weather and in total darkness I decided that I needed plastic surgery. Am I unhappy with my nose? Yes. Am I unhappy with my bum? Yes. Am I unhappy with my tummy? Yes. But it is none of the above to which I wish a sharp knife to hover over. It is my dreary, saggy, dare-to-look-up size D breasts that I wish could magically appear back to a size C.
I want to be a size C again.
Since having Pickles fashion has taken on new meaning. It is not practical anymore, neither is it colorful. And it is definitely not comfortable. It is however more important now, than it has ever been. Every piece in my wardrobe has a special purpose and comes from the same big manufacturer in the sky… the skirts, the jeans, the belts, the bras, or lack of some days, are all fit for purpose if they fit one criteria. Each piece of clothing must now be ‘chameleon like’ and magically make me as beautiful as my surroundings. Clothes must answer the following questions: Will it hide my flabby bits, my not-so-happy-with-bits, my I-don’t mind-but-others-might bits, and more importantly, will it make my post-pregnancy boobs look smaller and more perky than they now truly are.
Clothing manufacturers need to get a grip. There is a market out there just desperate to be filled. Customise their clothing label to fit the ‘chameleon mothers’ range and they’ll be onto a million pound business. My wardrobe is a great example, come on over and have a look.
It is funny though, some days, like today, (an occasional day) I wake up, get dressed and while looking in the mirror breath a ‘ho humm’. ‘It’s OK’ I say to myself. ‘They were once curvy and voluptuous and I’m OK with my new found post pregnancy body’. I can cope with my flabby bits, my not-so-nice-bits, thats why I have my new wardrobe full of my ‘chameleon’ range. But universe, why did you make it so that breasts can turn from voluptuos and sexy into unsexy, unshapely, gotta-hang-south-and-watch-the-floor-incase-I-trip breasts. All because of pregnancy?
Jay Marie
P.S. I won’t be going into surgery any time soon!
Hey CJ,
Doesn’t it seem such a long time ago that our slimmer figures danced around. You’d think, with a toddler, excess weight would fall off, however, its hanging on for dear life.
Happy Mummying
Jay Marie
I vaguely remember being the weight I was pre pregancy and that was of slim build. Oh how times have changed! But I could go through surgery to alter my appearance or my body shape.
CJ xx