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Man! Where’s my car?
“Mumble, mumble, mumble…what the hell was I saying?” I thought. “What day is it today? And, does anybody know what I’ve done with my car?”
Another event today made me realise that even three years after giving birth, I still have ‘mother’s brain’. Why is it that I can go from being able to remember my entire phone book of family and friends to struggling to remember whether or not I put undies on this morning…needles to say that creepy feeling of my new generation of ‘granny-knickers’ strangling my cheeks should tell me my answer.
I am now, right hand raised in the air, ashamed of my memory, and the lack of it. I wish most days for an invisible Assistant sitting on my shoulder dictating my life to me… telling me what day it is, reminding me to put the washing on the line so I don’t find it in 3 days time after the stench fills my kitchen, and reminding me to pick up Pickles from Pre School…the thought of her standing alone, waiting, fills me with such dread that I have had nightmares over it.
Where did my memory go? Is it vacationing without me on some deserted island sipping Ice tea and bronzing up its tan? Has it permanently vacated the premises no longer wanting to pay the cheap rent I had offered it for so long?
How? How can simply giving birth leave me with so many embarrassing moments.
I guess until it returns form holiday or until I receive the letter of ‘Thanks for the great years we had together but I’m off, Always, Your Memory’ arrives, then Crosswords and the DS Train the Brain will have to become my ten minute friends with my cuppa tea.
Yours always,
Jay (I think)
Mothers Day Bliss!
Mothers Day… what do you do? Do you hope in wait that Hubby reads your mind and delivers for you a beautiful bottle of Red coupled with the appropriate matching number of roses from Marks & Spencer Mother’s Day Flowers, one for each year of bliss as a Mummy. Do you dream, days before the event, of all the romantic things you’ve seen Hollywood men produce for their beauties and hope senselessly that you will get to act out one of those scenes?
I do! And it’s my own fault I end up wailing in the shower on Mothers Day evening, pitying the lack of Hollywood in my life.
Year after year, I subtly try and squeeze every little hint my wobbly brain can manage onto my husband about wonderful, romantic Mothers Day surprises. And year after year I disappoint myself.
This year, I have learnt a lot about expectation, especially the ol’ ‘Read my mind’ one. It was Hubby that taught me that if I want something, then jolly-well ask for it! Then I have a great chance of getting it. Just because he doesn’t deliver what Tom Cruise did in Top Gun, or pick me up at work and whisk me off for sexy rituals back at home like Officer and A Gentleman doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, or that he doesn’t think about me and Mothers Day.
“What is the point in hoping and then being disappointed?” he quite frankly put it. And he is so darn right! Damn it!!!
This year Mothers Day will be what ever it turns out to be. I have not thought about it, I have not imagined it. I don’t in all honesty, (hand on heart tell the truth) know what day it is, however…whatever happens this year, it will be magical. It will be Walt Disney and Gone With The Wind rolled into one: Fairytale Dreams Come True mixed with Romance.
This year, the whole day will be a surprise thanks to my new found rule and daily chant of “Thou shalt ask if I want and will not expect” and will therefore be incredible!
In the warmth of my little girls hands my true Mothers Day exists. In her eyes I see bouquets of Roses, dozens of them. In her smile, I am there. I don’t need any gift of wine, roses or romance… it all exists in her and Mothers Day just reminds me of that.
I hope you enjoy yours!
xxx
Read MoreGreen with envy (Teapigs)
Green tea is just so bitter. Right?
It’s hard to drink no matter how darn good it is for us! I have wished for so long that I could be a ‘health freak’ and gulp it with pleasure, knowing that from the inside out I am doing wonders for my body. But years and years of trying to drink the horrid, bitter, dirty green coloured liquid left me with great scepticism on trying yet another green tea. Yet here I was about to try Teapigs Mao Feng Green Tea. The teabag had been staring at me for days and eveytime I went to make a cup I would give it a dirty look and tell it, “not yet”, I just wasn’t ready for another ‘bitter’ disappointment.
Drinking Green tea is just like eating vegies when we were kids.
Remember the times…?
Like the memories I have of being a kid, sitting at the dinner table an hour after everybody else left all because I didn’t like pumpkin. Mum kept telling me how ‘good’ it was for me and how healthy it is and that “until you finish all of it, your not leaving the table”. Humpf!! In the end, I would hold my nose and swallow the very cold pumpkin, as fast as I could. Just like holding your nose and swallowing the green tea, knowing its good for you and that’s it! Only now, I love pumpkin! It is one of my favourite vegetables along with several other ‘good for me’ veggies.
That’s how it felt yesterday morning as I finally plucked up the courage to drink Teapigs Mao Feng Green Tea. I want so much to be as healthy as I can. It has never been more important as it has been since I gave birth to Pickles. Now, the investment in my health is also hers. And guess what? Without going on about how delicate it is, how light green my cup turned (not dirty green) and how smooth it was. I will just let you in on a great secret…
It was really, really nice. And, I finished the cup – without holding my nose!
It still has that ‘green’ flavour that I need to get used to, but it was a pleasure to drink. It was soft, subtle and I felt like I had a Jane Fonda workout in a cup; so healthy!
Go, get some, try it. If you’ve tried to drink green tea before and hated it, and now if the word ‘green’ in relation to tea makes you shiver, don’t panic…the healthy green tea you will enjoy is here. I am pleased to admit, I will be ordering more!
And the other delicacies I tried this week:
Winter red tea – Oh bring on Christmas!
Lemon and ginger tea – A new favourite of mine. With so many other brand teas the ginger is just so overpowering that you feel like your chewing on the root. I drank this tea because I was suffering a little heart burn and voila, 5 minutes after drinking the tea it was gone!
Pure lemongrass tea – mmmm, this was my downfall. I love lemongrass, I love all things lemon, but this one for me was too strong. The flavour was still soft, like most of Teapigs teas but this one and me just didn’t bond like the rest of us have.
Choc flake – OMG!!! How do you get chocolate, in a tea, without it being insipidly sweet and making you feel sick after drinking it. Easy – try this tea. I love my sweet teas after dinner in place of After Dinner Mints, teas like Rooibos and Caramel, or my black Tea2 tea, leaf infused with fudge (from Australia) and this one is just as good! I was so deliriously happy while drinking this tea. I am not a great chocolate eater, but I love the flavour of really good quality chocolate! This tea is my chocolate bar in a cup and I don’t feel any guilt for my waistline while I drink it. This tea left me in a delirious trance totally oblivious to my hubby sitting beside me calling “honey, hooooonnneeeeeeeyy” – “ha, sorry babe what” I responded. ”You haven’t heard a thing” he said. I had slipped into a sultry cup of Choc flake tea!!
and the Mao Feng Green – you know all about that!
I am starting to see a real commonality in Teapigs tea which is beginning to impress me very much. All their teas are subtle (no bitterness), soft, yet very, very flavourful! It’s like drinking the word ” CHILLAXING” in every cup. You just enjoy every drop!
All I need now, is a fancy cup worthy of the tea!
_________________________
Tomorrow I am dedicating the entire day to the Matcha super power Green Tea.
Down the hatch!!
Read MoreHow to stop the terrible two’s: A strategy that works!
How to stop the terrible two’s: A strategy that works!
Does the sound of ‘the terrible twos’ make you quake in your boots? That dreadful time you’ve heard so many parents warn you about when your little angel becomes a little devil. The time when their favourite word becomes “No”, they hit, they stomp, they refuse everything and it seems as though they do everything they can to annoy you, especially at the most inopportune times.
What if I told you that it’s easier than your you thought? That you can stop quaking in your boots and instead embrace it, knowing that it won’t be much different from the last two years.
The ‘terrible twos’ describes the passage that toddlers take (on average) between the ages of 2 to 3 years old. Some are earlier starters, some a little later and some head on into 4 and 5 years old with the same ‘label’.
The ‘terrible twos’ label is just that, a label. You see if you really think about it, the problem with the label ‘the terrible twos’ is that it’s saying – this whole year is going to be terrible and that your child’s behaviour is terrible and awful. And yet, if you put your mind to it, that isn’t really true because in reality its probably only a tiny fraction of that time in which their behaviour is less than what we would like.
Its not that it’s the terrible twos, or that perhaps we should instead try and call it the happy twos, it’s more about being able to experience our child’s behaviour from their point of view. Why? Because this is what they are going through. It’s their world as they know it. Yet without realising it we expect them to view it as we see it. They are no longer little babies, they are little people and sometimes the transition between the two happens so fast that our expectations on them become too great, too quick. Limited though it is, its their world that they occupy where they don’t have access to all that we as adults have learnt. They don’t have the benefit of our years of experience, knowledge and social understanding and they are learning an incredible amount all in one year!
So what is it really? It most definitely isn’t them becoming terrible little people. According to Tessa Livingstone in Child Of Our Time: Early Learning, it is thought to be the biggest growth spurt of our lives: mentally, emotionally and physically.
To be an effective teacher and ensure we cope well through what some term as the most challenging year of our lives we need to step up the gears as our toddlers are becoming little people. Little people who now understand choice. They understand ‘yes’ and ‘no’. They know what they like and are learning more about what they don’t like.
When you understand the emotional growth toddlers experience during this phase of development you can see life through their eyes and respond more appropriately to what is going on. Emotions run hot at this age and they are learning lots of them. From happy and sad, to angry and even fear. It’s the same with their mental and physical growth.
Understanding a fraction of what your toddler is going through is one of the most important coping strategies you can have. You need to see it from their eyes because you then have a new point of view, their point of view. Instead of seeing a tantrum you see the frustration of experiencing an emotion that can’t be communicated.
Once you understand the psychology behind what your toddler is experiencing during the ‘terrible twos’, you understand what it is they are doing; you see that saying ‘no’ all the time in actual fact is sometimes ‘yes’ and sometimes said for the fun of it. Naturally you will have a greater chance in helping them respond to new behaviours and new experiences. It gives you the power to recognise what truly may be ‘bad’ behaviour or what is really simply them learning; trying to understand the natural course of action and reaction. This in turn helps you to respond in a much more appropriate way to get a much better result.
A great example of this is the following:
After two years of dressing my toddler it suddenly become a battle. Kicking, screaming and yelling. I was then constantly late to all our play dates. No amount of bribing her that we wouldn’t go to messy play or the local indoor play centre if she wouldn’t get dressed worked. Even the threat of losing her favourite toy wouldn’t work as she does not understand the concept. The worst was when we were running so late that I decided to it was pointless leaving and stayed home. Not only did she miss out, but I did too. However by seeing it from her point of view I learnt that it is was more about ‘sudden change’ than it was about getting out of her pajamas and putting clothes on; She did not like the sudden disruption in what she was doing. She felt annoyed unable to understand why she needed to get dressed. From her point of view she was happily watching Peppa Pig and was quite happy to turn up to messy play in her P.J’s. It’s a bit like you reading this now then all of sudden someone comes and snatches your laptop off you and tells you to go and sit at the dining table.
So what can you do next time your toddler refuses to get in the car or refuses to leave the play centre? Understanding what goes on behind the scenes of their behaviour and knowing what they are learning is your biggest strength however a little piece of advice…
Warn them. Disrupt their concentration and ‘plant a seed’.
I understood that I could no longer expect her to do things when I wanted her to do them, just because I wanted her to do them, now! She needed warming up to the idea so that the sudden change wasn’t such a shock. You may have heard other parents warning their children with things like “you’re up to bed after this” or “one more book then it’s bed time”. I have even heard it when I am out and about at the local play center – Mums, warning the little ones that they are ‘going soon’. This is a wonderful way of subtly breaking your toddler’s concentration and ‘planting the seed’ of what they are about to do. You are in effect warning them that ‘this’ will happen after ‘that’. Then it isn’t such a shock when you come to do it. So next time you need to get your toddler in the car, let them know well before hand that your ‘going out to the shops soon’. And repeat it a few times, make up a great story about what your about to do. Distract them with the new thought.
So over the course of five or ten minutes before you plan to do what ever it is that is causing upset with your toddler let them know several times before hand. Warn them. Create a little story about what your about to do while you busy getting ready.
A little warning goes a long way.
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As published by Jay Marie on the Really Kid Friendly website (see here)
Read MoreChristmas: the traditions, the habits and the toys
Ohhhhhh, I LOVE Christmas! What could represent being a child more so than Christmas?
Out and about over the weekend we noticed a lot of the shops have their Christmas ‘stuff” in store now. Now that the weather is so chilly and damp, and the thought of sunshine and my tan seems moons away from here, I am totally wrapping myself up in Christmas. Although, I do every year.
Traditions from my Mum have become my passion and not more so than Christmas traditions. My tree goes up on the 1st December, just like my Mum used to and the rest of the house slowly follows. My newest tradition however is my fairy lights, inspired by Nigella Lawson and her endearing use of lights in her kitchen. It makes you feel like your cooking in a wonderland every time you get the saucepans out. I love the kitchsness of Christmas, I love the traditions of Christmas and I just can’t get enough of the looks on Pickles face with all the colours that surround us for those 4 to 6 weeks.
But this year, I have a problem!
Read More