Woke up this morning after a very heavy session with my stylist yesterday and needed some emotional therapy. Pickles was in need of some yummy tummy food and I was desperate for something delicately delicious.
So this is what we got up to this morning.
Have a go, they are so easy to make and great for the kids to help you with.
Nothing beats the pure bliss of baking!!!!! Mary Berry eat your heart out.
Lemon Cupcake Recipe
After a couple of weeks contemplation, silence and nostalgia I have finally found the courage to get back to the blog.
Theres been no frilly knickers needing ironing and no unnecessary cleaning of the front of the fridge (I won’t go there). Instead what lead me to pause and create a silent gap on my blog was the awful exhaustion I have been feeling for no apparent reason.
Why is it that tiredness hits you harder once the kids are older as opposed to the first few months of their life? Is it just because back then we are used to the lack of sleep? Or is it because we have settled back into a sleeping routine and the interruptions then feel like a volcanic eruption.
Pickles has had two bacterial infections in the last two weeks and although she has cruised through them, I haven’t.
‘Silly-mummy syndrome’ takes hold and I am on a knifes edge, worried, panicked. My mental faculties seem to fly off in the distance only to then turn and taunt me yelling “are you crazy”, “stop the excessive worry and take a breath”. But I find it so hard.
I lost my Mum at the age of 25 so death is far too real to me. This has had a knock-on effect I never expected. Now, any kind of illness puts me in a state where I excessively worry. I stupidly panic. And a crazy worry-wort takes over.
This excessive worry is what seems to exhaust me. So how on earth can I stop it?
I know maternal attachment has a lot to do with it too. I know I am still attached to her via the invisible umbilical cord but I just struggle to relax when she isn’t well. Stupidly so.
Now that she is fine I am recovering and attempting to lift my eyelids back into the real world. And so I say a big “hello” on my return to the tap tap tap of my keyboard to those out there so patiently reading my blog.
Thanks for sticking around!
‘Today is a bad day. Today I feel alone. Today…I just want to hide’ I thought curled up under the duvet. ’Where are you Mum?’
I lay in bed curled in a ball listening to Pickles and Daddy downstairs doing the morning rush. I pulled the covers up over my head and sighed.
It’s not that anything is wrong. It’s just some days I wake up and that gaping great hole in my heart is unbearable and all I want to do is curl up in my Mum’s arms and have her cuddle me.
I am 37 years old and have been without my Mum for eleven years now but it still hurts some days. It’s worse when I think about what Mum is missing getting to know Pickles. Arrgghh it makes me angry!
Tomorrow I know I will be able to look at the photo of Mum sitting on the veranda back home in OZ, drinking her cuppa tea, and I’ll smile at it instead of feeling bitter and angry like today.
Some days, like today, I just want to curl up in a ball and stay there for a while.
But today my sorrow was broken by the most beautiful sound. ”Mummy, where are you” in her almost perfect speech came up from the bottom of the stairs. ”Mummy” she shouts. And our responses echo back and forth as our little conversation goes on and my ball fades and I can’t stop grinning.
Flash ah! I saved my whole universe.
Over the last month Pickles has been really disinterested in meals. All that sugary, yummy stuff is no problem, fruit is no problem…meals – she’s totally disinterested. I have a toddler flailing about, moaning, groaning, throwing her arms in the air and zipping those ruby red lips shut tight every time a ‘meal’ is placed in front of her.
Enter, The Dragon!
I never, ever, ever, ever, dreamt I would be the kind of person that would be affected by this. The typical ‘chilled out’ personality of a Capricorn shouldn’t be affected by a few skipped meals. But noooooooooooo….
Crazy Mummy Volume 1:
Call Buffy, call Superman, call anyone. Neurotic, pushy and pedantic is what I started to become. I had become the kind of Mum you see on some reality TV show with a toddler with a severe disorder created by their parent/s. (I hide my embarressment). My panic, my worry (lets get real here) my absolutely ridiculous panic over her not eating and the effects on her health turned me into a crazy, neurotic, sitting next to Pickles shoveling food into her mouth Mummy. My reflection was not pretty. I hated what I saw.
So in my typical fashion of decision making, I made one in a flash.
Today, in my pursuit of happiness and calm I decided that the morning bottle was to be dropped to try and make Pickles hungry at mealtimes.
And…
it worked!
Today’s lunch and dinner are all in a lovely, scrummy little tummy.
Fingers crossed it sticks.
Quick as a flash – Some of the best parental decisions I have made have been those I’ve made instantaneously. Not having the emotional thought behind my intention helps the picture seem clearer and the outcome so much easier.
On 31st May 2010 The Potty Project goes live!
Are you thinking of potty training soon? Have you already potty trained? If so, please join the Potty Project! We need your support.
Thanks to all the amazing advice from everybody who responded to my To Potty or Not To Potty post I have decided to take the plunge and potty train Pickles. (Eeeeeeeekkkkk!!! Someone help me!!)
But there’s a catch…I had an epiphany the other day and thought ‘wouldn’t it be fantastic to potty train at the same time as someone else‘. So I’m reaching out to the blogging world in the hopes others are ready for the same milestone.
The idea:
The Potty Project I hope will be the biggest online Potty Training week round the globe.
We will blog/comment/post everyday and share experiences, frustration, tantrums (ours of course) and then joy at the success of going through this huge milestone with our toddlers.
If your interested in joining please leave a comment, email or subscribe to this post. I so want your help! This is a huge step in toddlerdom. One that will leave us all nappy freeeeeeeee!!!!!
By joining The Potty Project you can potty train your toddler with online support and make the event exciting.
The books suggest we stay indoors for 7 days to give ourselves and our toddler the chance to crack it in a week. At least this way we can do it together and share it all by blogging our stories during The Potty Project week.
What will the Potty Project give you:
Don’t do it alone – join The Potty Project community.
So if your thinking of Potty Training soon join the Potty Project and subscribe by email to the blog. Join what might be the biggest online Potty Training week in the world.
Even if you have potty trained your toddler please do join up as your advice is invaluable and your support, important.
So how will Pickles and I be doing it?.
Through loads of recommendations I have decided to use Gina Fords, Potty Train in One Week method, if anything else, it seems pretty logical and to be honest, if Pickles and I can manage it in a week I will be ecstatic. I think I will even buy myself the lavender Radley purse I have been lusting after for so long. (Now that’s an incentive!).
The Potty Project goes live on 31st May 2010.
So grab your potties, your toilet seats, rejuvenate your mental energy and join in the fun. Share your stories with us here at The Potty Project.
I so hope to see you here soon.
Best
Jay Marie
P.S. We will be counting down each week with articles, resources, hints and tips etc right up until the live date. Once we go live, its over to you!
P.S.S. For a little more info on The Potty Project feel free to read The Potty Project page.
